Gordo the Emo Kid
by eclectic
Summary: Gordo becomes an emo kid.
1. Crossover of fun!

Gordo the Emo Kid  
  
Chapter One: The Weirdest Crossover Ever  
  
[A/N: I wanted to write a story about Gordo becoming an emo kid, and I also wanted to write a story that was a crossover of two things that should never be crossed-over. But since I'm too lazy to actually think of a plot for a crossover, I decided to make the first chapter of Gordo the Emo Kid not have anything to do with the rest of the story, and make that my crossover. And just to make it more fun for me, this is a contest. Whoever reviews with what this is crossed-over with gets ten thousand eclectic points and my undying respect, unless you spell anything wrong or use improper grammar. Do not cross the Grammar Gestapo. Don't worry, this won't be too hard. I more or less stole the plot (for the first chapter) from... whatever I got this from. And snow dawg isn't allowed to answer, as she should already know. Anywho, on to the rest of the story: Basically, Gordo becomes an emo kid. I is good at title-ing. I like to make fun of the emo kids. Let's give them something to cry about, I always say! Heh, I kid. I kid because I love. Don't be surprised if I slip into play form occasionally, even though I'm trying to write in prose. I read a lot of plays. And on another note, I'm officially not writing Obligatory any more. I just can't write romance, even if it is a parody. Someone can take it over for me if they want. I'm looking at you, snow dawg. Wow, this is a really really really really really looooooong author's note. Sorry. So anyway, without further ado, Gordo the Emo Kid--The Weirdest Crossover Ever.]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire, any emo bands (although I wish I owned a boy with emo glasses), or whatever this is a crossover of. You'll find out next chapter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lizzie hurried to house number 778 without looking up. She was glad for the babysitting gig, but this neighborhood gave her the creeps. Todd Cassill was a sweet boy, even if his parents seemed inept at the whole "caring thing". [Yes, I stole that line from... whatever this is a crossover of. It's a hint. In fact, I stole the vast majority of the plot for this chapter.] But that bear... she swore she heard Todd talk to him about burning things down. But it wasn't even so much that as the house next door. It was in shoddy condition, yet someone obviously lived there. Every so often there would be a new mound in the dirt, under the keep off the loose dirt sign. And she would always hear Todd talk about the "scary neighbor man". She was glad to reach the house.  
  
She opened the door. "Todd?", she yelled.  
  
*squee!*  
  
"It's me, Lizzie."  
  
"Oh. Good." A cute little boy, about eight, peeked his head around the corner. "Shmee thought you were the scary neighbor man. Hey, wanna read my new story?"  
  
"Of course!", Lizzie said. As well as being very sweet and adorable, Todd was also quite the author. They went up to Todd's room to read, when after awhile, they heard a noise in the basement.  
  
"Squee!", squee'd Todd.  
  
"I'm sure it's nothing, but we'll look anyway", she said as she beckoned him to follow. "It was probably just a rat", she thought.  
  
But when they looked down into the basement, it was most certainly not a rat. There stood a very tall, very skinny man rumaging through the tools. His blue-black hair was in two huge horns of his forehead, and nowhere else. He was definately not pale.  
  
"Hey, Squee, I thought I'd run down here through the tunnel. I didn't mean to bother you, but I need a hammer and nails to fix the wall. Where's your- -", he stopped abruptly as he looked up and saw Lizzie in the hallway.  
  
"Hey, Mister--", Lizzie tried to get out.  
  
"Who's THIS, Squeegee?", the mysterious stranger asked as one eye narrowed and the other bulged out.  
  
"Squee! She's my babysitter! Please don't murder her! She's nice!"  
  
"You say she's nice? Hmmm... ok, but if she ever causes any problems, you let me know, ok, Squeegee? I'm gonna go get a brainfreezy.", and with that, he left.  
  
"Was-was that the scary neighbor man?" Lizzie asked, still shaking.  
  
"Yeah. Shmee says he's bad."  
  
Before Lizzie could reply, she heard the garage door slam. "That must be your parents. I guess that's goodbye till next week, Todd.", she said as she practically ran outside. Lizzie felt guilty leaving Todd alone with the scary neighbor man next door, but she needed to get out of there. She quickly made it to the drive-way to collect her money.  
  
"Did he get kidnapped?", his mother eagerly asked.  
  
"Nope, Todd's alive and well."  
  
"Ah well, there's always tommorrow. How much do I owe you? I have to ruin my life to pay for that kid, and now he needs a babysitter--", Mr. Cassill muttered under his breath.  
  
"Ummm... twenty dollars, Mr. Cassill." Lizzie grabbed the money as Todd's father kepy muttering to himself.  
  
As she walked down the sidewalk to her own house, she noticed a familiar face. "Gordo! What are you doing here?", she asked.  
  
"Ummm, Lizzie?" he asked nervously, "I need to talk to you..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yes! Cliffhanger! Remember to review with the answer to what I crossed Lizzie McGuire with, and be happy! 


	2. Short plot furthering chapter

Gordo the Emo Kid Part Deux  
  
[A/N- Yes, I know it's been almost a month, but I have an excellent excuse; I am very lazy. Extremely lazy. Don't be surprised if it takes another month for the next chapter. This chapter won't even be good. Or long. This chapter shall reveal Lizzie as the heartless witch that we all know she is. It shall be very short and will only further the plot. Sucks to be you! And yes, the answer to the crossover question was Johnny the Homicidal Maniac or Squee, by Jhonen Vasquez. Everyone who answered correctly gets a theoretical cookie. Does anyone have Everything Can Be Beaten yet? I neeeeeeed... By the way, I am way too happy to be an emo kid, but I do greatly enjoy Jimmy Eat World, Saves the Day, and especially At the Drive-In (RIP). This chapter R/R, but only with proper grammar, or the Grammar Gestapo shall be forced to layeth the smackdown.]  
  
I don't own Lizzie McGuire, Jhonen Vasquez or any of his works, or any emo music. I do own emo glasses though.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gordo couldn't believe he was doing this. This could ruin their relationship on so many levels. But the way she looked at him in study hall... surely Lizzie had to feel the same way for him. So he asked.  
  
"Ummmm... L-l-lizzie? W-w-will you--"  
  
"T-t-today, junior!", retorted Lizzie, looking obviously annoyed at his presence.  
  
"Will- will you go out with me?" His question was greeted by a throaty laugh. As much as he loved the way she laughed, after a few minutes it started to bother him. This surely wasn't a good sign.  
  
"Will- will I go out with you?" Lizzie managed to choke out between chortles, "Why would I do such a thing! I mean, you're my friend and all, but boyfriend? Let's face it, you're not really that cool, and your looks, well, they leave something to be desired."  
  
Gordo was stunned. "You can't be serious", he half muttered to himself.  
  
"Of course I am, luser! To think ANYONE would ever date you , let alone me! hah!"  
  
Gordo ran crying all the way home [jiggity jig] 


	3. Crap

Chapter 3  
  
[Wow. It's been four months. I've actually been busy for one of those months, but the other three... pure, unadultured laziness. Hey Strange Emily, I looked at your profily-thing, and I remember reading your story. I liked it. Weezer rocks my socks off, and I plan on using Pinkerton at some point in this story. Anyway, I don't really know what to do with this chapter. It'll probably only be a few sentences long. I just thought that I needed to throw something out there and see if the cat licks it up. Emo isn't very popular anymore, so I'm kind of at a loss. I'll try my best to write the next chapter within a month or so. No Time To Waste is really good. Yeah, I'm babbling. I have plans for another fic, but not the talent nor the intestinal fortitude to write it. I might try to get some help with it. I've also been considering a Lizzie McGuire/ The West Wing crossover, but that probably won't happen, for the following reasons: a) I am lazy. b) I lack the mighty power of Sorkinese. c) All I can think of is the Matt n' Lanny subplot. I guess Lizzie could get the hots for Will or something (and who wouldn't?), but it's just wrong. Anyway, I'll stop rambling and write my pathetic excuse for a story now. R/R.]  
  
~~~~  
  
Gordo ran all the way home, trying to choke back tears the whole time. He burst through the door. Gordo's mom called out:  
  
"Gordo? Is that you? Your new CDs arrived in the mail today. I put them in your room."  
  
"Thanks!", Gordo choked out. When he reached his room, he couldn't bear it anymore. He started bawling, and was incredibly thankful for the soundproofing his parents had put up when he was in his Radiohead phase.  
  
After he had cryed himself out, he glanced over at his CDs. Needing music to calm him, he popped in the first one he saw, Dashboard Confessional.  
  
After the first few chords, he started crying with renewed vigor.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
[Yes, I know that that sucked and wasn't funny, but I'm saving the funny for later chapters, if I ever remember to write them, which I won't. Sorry. Maybe over Spring Break, if you're lucky. Actually, you'd be luckier if I forgot to finish, as you wouldn't have to read this crap anymore. I apologize for my marginaly amusing stories.] 


	4. When Exposition! Girl attacks

Gordo the Emo Kid  
Chapter 4  
  
[A/N: I'm sorry that it's taken me so long. I forgot about this story. I really, really, really didn't want to write myself into this, but I needed an Exposition! Girl, so I came up with a compromise. Mary Sue Exposition. You'll see no character developement from her at all, only necessary exposition. I have no idea where I'm going with this story except for the final chapter, so if anyone has any good ideas for filler chapters of fun, I'm open to suggestion. It would be a shame to end this story after there was no story. Also, emo's officially dead now, but so's the mosh pit, so I guess no one will really pay attention to its death. R/R, unless you are stupid.]  
  
[Review Notes!  
  
JtHM is short for Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, an excellent comic by Jhonen Vasquez. Go buy it at your friendly neighborhood comic book shop, and rejoice at being the least geeky person in the room. There's a character in Johnny named Todd, but when he is afraid, which is most of the time, he says "Squee!". Thus, Johnny calls him Squee. "T-t-t-t-today, junior!" is from Billy Madison, the best movie of all time. I heart Lenore.]  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Lizzie, Miranda, and Mary Sue Exposition were standing at their lockers. Miranda and Lizzie were talking about Lizzie rejection of Gordo the previous Friday. [It was a Friday, right? If not, it is now.] Mary Sue was staring off into space, as she wasn't needed yet.  
  
"I still can't believe you did that", Miranda said. "That was kind of mean."  
  
"But, come one, he's a total luser! Why would I date someone like him? I'm still waiting for my dream guy: someone who's incredibly stupid, marginally attractive, has no demonstrable skills whatsoever, and has no interest in me.", said Lizzie.  
  
"Well, that's what we all want, but we can't hold out forever. Oh my gosh, is that Gordo?"  
  
Lizzie looked in the direction that Miranda was pointing, and felt a teensy bit guilty.  
  
Gordo was wearing a tight black T-shirt that looked like it was last worn when he was five, tight dark blue jeans with the bottoms cuffed to reveal white socks, and plain tennis shoes. His hair was slicked back, with stupid bangs, and both of his hands had large black Xs drawn on them. He approached the girls.  
  
All he could manage was "My heart is black." before bursting into tears, dropping his books, and fleeing away.  
  
"What the heck is up with him?", Miranda said.  
  
"I know!", said Mary Sue, feeling that her time had come, "He's gone emo." She picked up his binder. On it was written 'xdavid zephyr gordonx'. "Straight edge too, by the looks of it. Not that he wasn't already, he just has a label for it now."  
  
"Gordo's even more annoying like this.", Lizzie spat. "How do we fix him?"  
  
"I don't know, I'm not supposed to have opinions."  
  
"Well... at least it's not Radiohead.", chimed in Miranda.  
  
~~~~~ [How do we fix him, indeed? I have a vague idea, but if anyone else has ideas, we can try that. And I'm sorry that that sucked, but it's not my fault, I'm just a really bad writer. R/R.] 


End file.
